Hospital/Moscow/Day 11

Cubicle 1705/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 11

Nelly brought several DVDs for me to watch. I really liked couple of them: “About a Boy” with Hue Grant and “Antwone Fisher” with Denzel Washington. Both movies brought me to a deeper understanding of the simple truth that God won’t ask what kind of car I drove in Cherepovets. He will ask how many people I drove who didn’t have transportation. Jesus won’t ask the square footage of my place; He will ask how many people I welcomed into my apartment. He won’t ask about the clothes I had in my closet, He will ask how many I helped to clothe. God won’t ask how much money I had; He will ask if I compromised my character to obtain the monies. God won’t ask what my job title was; He will ask if I performed my job to the best of my ability. Jesus won’t ask how many friends I had; He will ask how many people to whom I was a friend. (“About a Boy”) God won’t ask in what neighborhood I lived; He will ask how I treated my neighbors. Jesus won’t ask about the color of my skin either but He will ask about the content of my character. (Antwone Fisher) Also, God won’t ask how many people I influenced in a positive truly Christian way and they changed; He already knows them. (Antwone Fisher and About a Boy) I truly recommend everyone to watch these great movies!!!! I understand that we come into this world to live 70-80 years with one purpose… and it is to do somebody a favor. I thought doing somebody a favor is minor but according to Jesus it is huge! He did me a favor; He died for me and redeemed me from the power of sin and death.

Hospital/Moscow/Day 10

Cubicle 1705/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 10

I woke up this morning feeling so blue. Good morning, Father. No answer… Daddy, please don’t play hide-and-seek with me today. But He still did… often times my life reminds me of the game I played with my mom and dad when I was little. They often played hide-and-seek with me. It seems to me that my heavenly Father likes to play the same game with me over and over again. He hides and I seek. I guess hide-and-seek must be good for me. It is a learning process. I constantly learn to realize He is still around although I can’t see, feel, or sense Him. Dad wants me to realize He is the absolute. He exists always. I find it very interesting… a minute ago I saw Him in the Word, or the simple truth, or a miracle but next thing I know, He is not around anymore, I can’t see Him, I look around and all I see is the troubled world I live in. I learned His favorite hiding place, though… He likes to hide behind His creation. To find Him, I sit still and gaze at His creation: waterfalls, skies, birds, mountains, animals, ocean, rivers, fishes, and of course, peoples. I see Him there. When I concentrate on His works and powers, I forget about my sickness, cold feet and high temperature and start believing in Him even more!

Hospital/Moscow/Day 9

Cubicle 1705/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 9

Astronomers found out that not every star in the skies shines her light. There are huge massive stars there in the universe but they do not shine their light, on the contrary they consume the light. Such stars are called Black Holes. There are too many black holes there in this world. If there’s any light there in you, let it shine. Lord, please help me bring the light into this dark place!

Hospital/Moscow/Day 8

Cubicle 1705/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 8

To tell you the truth, I am very happy that no one can be told what the Kingdom of God is. Every person has to see the King and the Kingdom for him/herself. Everyone needs to come and taste how good the Lord is for himself! It is a serious decision to come see the King in person and let Him free oneself up from the system of this world. A human who knows or feels that something is wrong with the system, can’t tell exactly what it is, but knows that it is there will be able to make the decision. It is this feeling that will bring the person to the Lord. There should be a question like a splinter there in that person’s mind, driving him/her mad: What is this system all about? Can the system tell me who I am? If not, who can? Who am I? All these questions have nothing to do with you becoming religious but FREE from the system of the corrupted world we live in. Being free from the system enables a person to bring spirituality to material people. I strongly believe that only free spirits are given the power to perform miracles and bring the light into the dark.

Hospital/Moscow/Day 7

Cubicle 1705/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 7

During my stay here I had some opportunities to talk to several nurses and the doctor about the Lord; looking at their faces I could tell they are lost, first, they are lost spiritually, secondly, they do not know how to treat me. They ran into the unknown. Nevertheless, they are so atheistic! Couldn’t believe my ears… they are so deep into the material world…What a country I was born in! Soviet system is smth else! We Russians were born into slavery, bondage, and prison we can’t smell or taste, or touch; it is a prison for our minds. The system was invented to blind us from the truth and make us slaves. Because we live in a slave community, many of us are not ready to be unplugged and set free. Some of us are so inert and some of us are so hopelessly dependant on the system that we are ready to fight to protect it. Slavery started when I believed that the system is strong and I am weak. I then believed that the system is everything and I am nothing! It brought me to the belief that the system could easily run over me and ruin my life. The fear crept in. Out of fear, I obeyed the system, followed its rules and regulations and became a slave. Little did I know that I was wonderfully and fearfully made by the Father who is in Heaven, that He has always been by my side to watch over me, protect, cherish and grow me into His son’s image! Thank you, Lord, for freeing my mind!

Hospital/Moscow/Day 6

Cubicle 1705/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 6

Observed an interesting thing this morning, if I allow depression or anxiety to come in, my God Channel gets cluttered, the signal becomes weak and breaks up on me, I then lose touch with the Lord! When I lose touch with Him I am lost. David once said: (paraphrase) You hid your face from me and I am lost! Like an astronaut, as soon as he loses touch with the Base, he is lost in space. It is scary! I have been that road before. I know where it ends and I do not want to be there. I need Him online all the time; He leads me, gets me back on track helping me take my showers, shave, read, pray, and go thru my daily routine living it from almost to utmost… still dizzy in my head… sick in my stomach… my body temp fluctuates… Lord, have mercy on me!

Hospital/Moscow/Day 5

Cubicle 1704/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 5

This morning a ray of light came into my hospital room. It was like Jesus stopped by to see me! He sent that ray of light in to remind me how much He loves me and cares for me! I love you Lord! I do!!! My body temp is high, my lips are dry, my feet are cold and sweaty and the stomach is rumbling… of course, I am under attack, I am fighting depression and anxiety attacks like crazy!

Hospital/Moscow/Day 4

Cubicle 1704/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 4

This morning I realize it even deeper that every little thing that takes place in my life was allowed in by the Almighty! The biggest miracle of today is that I am still alive and God is still working on me remodeling, changing, and recreating! It hurts. Jesus, please free my mind. Let me hold on to your abundant Life! Thank you, Lord! Father I feel so sick and fatigue… feel terrible…

Hospital/Moscow/Day 3

Cubicle 1704/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 3

What happened to me? – Honestly, we do not know… we couldn’t detect anything in your blood or in your stomach. You took strong medicine on the plane... it is our guess the Malaria and Giardia parasite that were detected in Tanzania made you feel very ill; your body was not prepared to handle those two together, on top of that, the parasite along with the strong medicine obviously made you real sick… the Malaria only makes people sick after it goes untreated for a time but in your situation, it behaved differently due to the intestinal infection you got, anti-malaria pills you have been taking, and your weak immune system: you are 44, and you live in the cold and never used your immune system in the tropical climate… am I seriously sick? – You ARE and you are NOT, the doctor said. Great, I thought to myself... Lord, what do you have to say about that? I am still very weak and burning in my face, legs, and feet? What is going on with me, Lord?

Hospital/Moscow/Day 2

Cubicle 1704/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 2

A nurse woke me up by taking my blood… feel very weak, tremor on the inside, every other hour ladies in white gowns come take my blood and go away and come back again… next time I woke up, I saw an IV stand by the bed… what are you going to do?... bring you back to normal, young man... rest… test results and answers are coming…

Hospital/Moscow/Day 1

Cubicle 1704/Infectious Diseases Hospital/ Moscow/ Day 1

Feeling so sick… never felt that way in my life before… going down… deep down… seems I am dying… tumbling down the rabbit hole… how deep the rabbit hole goes? my skin is burning, my stomach is rumbling constantly… threw up a couple of times… went cold, went hot, went out… here we go again… down the rabbit hole… bad dream… woke up… opened my eyes… dark hospital room… am I dead? – Not really, said the nurse, you are down but still alive… praise the Lord, I murmured

To my African Family

My dearest African brothers and sisters,

Thank you for your prayers and encouraging messages! I am writing to let you know that Alex and I think of you often and lift you guys up to the Lord in our prayers! As you may already know, I became very sick on the Malaria the day we came back from Tanga, Tanzania. I was so very weak and dizzy that all I could do was to stay in bed at Troy’s. Next day I went to see a doctor in Moshi and was diagnosed with the Malaria and some kind of intestinal infection. The parasite along with the medicine made me very ill. Alex and I had to fly to Moscow next day. I cried out to the Lord, my friends Troy and Jen, Alex, Charles and his wife lifted me up to God in prayer and He heard our cry and had mercy on me, Alex and all my friends who prayed for me, lest they should have sorrow upon sorrow. On the plane I became very ill again and when we arrived in Moscow, the doctor on duty at the airport rushed me straight into the hospital. At the hospital the tropic diseases specialist told me that there’s no one in Cherepovets, my hometown who could have helped me with the malaria. There are no malaria specialists there in Cherepovets, he said, all malaria patients are sent to Moscow to this place from Cherepovets. Alex and I thanked the Lord for sending me directly to this wonderful place. I am going to be here for 15 more days. In spite of my circumstances, I go to the Lord to give thanks to my Father for all the blessings He has bestowed unto us all while in Tanzania. I am praying that you, my dear brothers may continue to seek the face of the Lord and be filled with the knowledge of His will and walk in a manner worthy of the Lord so that you may please Him. For it is He who reconciled you in His fleshly body through His death on the cross to present you before the Father holy, honest, blameless and beyond reproach. Moses, Peter, please take heed to the ministry that you have decided to commit yourselves so that you may fulfill it. May the Lord bless you and keep you in His Light! Today I find joy in my sufferings for your sake and for the sake of the ministry remembering good times we had together in the Word, prayer, and fellowship. Because of my illness I was unable to travel to India, God is my witness how I longed to go there and speak forth the Word and the mystery of Christ but satan thwarted me. No matter what, I have decided to let my mind dwell on whatever is lovely and worthy of praise! I know that I know this trip to Tanzania was very fruitful and glorious! For that, I praise the Lord and want to thank you, brethren for letting us be a part of your lives!